The Worse Half

My better half has never had it so good. Like other males of the species, I too have capitulated in the face of a barrage of the wife’s demands. Gone are the days when one used to read newspapers at leisure in the mornings and managed to watch television in an undisturbed fashion late in the evening, followed by a spell on the internet. One never had to lift so much as a finger to do anything else, except for attending to phone calls of all sorts. But these were part of the game, one thought, and even occupational hazards.

No such luck now, I’m afraid. The other half has wisened up, realized that her husband is no-good at home, and so what if he’s not-bad at his office. He better not laze around whenever he’s around, she’s decided. The result being that nowadays one has to forsake most of the ‘delicious’ delicacies that the newspapers dish out, every morning. They have been replaced by yoga and a walk. The idiot box has been substituted by reading and writing, and the internet by another walk, late at night!
What then has brought about this downslide in one’s fortunes? Actually, the dominant
half has figured out that her husband needs to be healthy and also needs to stop wasting time in life. Not that one gave in without a struggle. Attempts were made to persuade and cajole the lady and even to argue one’s case passionately, but to no avail. In case of a breach of rules, one is greeted alternately by moodiness and glares, and one has to fall in line. There isn’t really much else one can do in such circumstances. The good-looking half is notably pleased at this turn of events, more with herself, one suspects, than with her hubby. She goes about her business with the air of one who has vanquished the unconquerable. In fact sometimes one feels the need to share one’s sorry state with fellow members of the aggrieved-husbands-club. Just who is on that list is not easily made out, however. Appearances can be extremely deceptive.

Meanwhile the ladies of the town are thinking of installing my wife as the new president of the reformist-wives-club. All I knows is that there is no escape from my healthygoody-goody routine. The smug half is in total control of the situation. Having given up one’s favourite pass times, and having adopted a new lifestyle, one can only look forward to more fresh air, more of the written word and more of that familiar feeling of inevitability. Indeed for the worse half, things have seldom been much worse.