Status Update

Published in “The Tribune”

In current times life has been reduced to the level of a status update. Unless one constantly lets people know where one is and what one is up to, one could become totally irrelevant.Thus the propensity of regulars on websites like Facebook to keep updating friends about their whereabouts (at times falsely) and their activities (mostly falsely) by the hour, or even by the minute. The level of these updates is often so outlandish that unsuspecting visitors to the site could come across a status like ‘having a bath right now’ and be suitably shocked.

‘Out for golgappas’ is an update that one saw recently, and one wondered what kinds of people eat golgappas in these risky monsoon days, while secretly feeling jealous of those who have the gumption to do so.
Others are more imaginative. ‘Going for a movie alone…does anyone want to join me?’ a young lad posted on his account recently, thereby drawing responses by the dozen from pretty-young-things who ended up having a cat-fight on comments-page before long. The boy seemed so much in demand that the house watched with bated breath as to who would win the argument. The lad himself seemed at a loss as to which contestant to choose as his date and maintained a discrete silence. No one knows whether and with whom he finally went for the film.

Some ‘updaters’ have great presence of mind, such as a journalist friend from Delhi who often comes up with imaginative updates and links them to the hot news of the day. He recently posted an update with a picture of his sumptuous breakfast spread, stating that while many people were going on fasts these days, he had absolutely no intention of joining them.

One middle aged newcomer on Facebook got a rude shock last week when he updated his personal profile details and Facebook promptly declared that he was ‘now married’. He has been the subject of much mirth and leg-pulling since then, with friends wondering why he’d got married again and how their ‘bhabhi’ of two decades was taking it!

Offline too, the demand for an update is compelling. Husbands, for example, have to update their better halves about their whereabouts a dozen times a day!

The walkers club at one of the parks has a rather drastic viewpoint. Most of its members are senior citizens and they have a hearty laugh at what the world has come to. They take life with a pinch of salt and even mock death itself. When they do not see a regular walker for a few days they wonder where he is. On such occasions one can even hear them remark- ‘We didn’t see his picture in the obit column either!’
Updating all and sundry on a regular basis is thus vital nowadays, else we may as well not exist!